Thank you taking the time to read this. As you know, verbally expressing how I feel inside has never been my strong suit. Writing down my thoughts has been so helpful.
I read something recently that kind of confirmed what I felt inside about relationships and perhaps something that many people also find to be strangely true. With that being said, I'm wondering if you'll join me on a submarine to explore the depths while you read this:
Relationships are Assignments, from the book, A Return to Love
" Relationships are assignments. They are part of a vast plan for our enlightenment, the Holy Spirit's blueprint by which each individual soul is led to greater awareness and expanded love. He brings together people who have the maximal opportunity for mutual growth. He appraises who can learn most from whom at any given time, then assigns them to each other. Like a giant universal computer, He knows exactly what combination of energies, in exactly what context, would do the most to further God's plan for salvation. No meetings are accidental. "Those who are to meet will meet, because together they have the potential for a holy relationship."
There are three levels of teaching in a relationship. The first level is what we think of as a casual encounter, such as two strangers meeting in an elevator or students who "happen" to walk home from school together. The second level is a "more sustained relationship, in which, for a time, two people enter into a fairly intense teaching-learning situation and then appear to separate." The third level of teaching is a relationship which, once formed, lasts all of our lives. At this level, "each person is given a chosen learning partner who presents him with unlimited opportunities for learning."
At the first level of teaching, the people in the elevator might smile at each other or the students might become friends. It is mostly in casual encounters that we are given the chance to practice the fine art of chiseling away at the hard edges of our personalities. Whatever personal weaknesses are evident in our casual interactions will inevitably appear more magnified in more intense relationships. If we're crabby with the bank teller, it will be harder to be gentle with the people we love most.
Third-level, life-long relationships are generally few because “their existence implies that those involved have reached a stage simultaneously in which the teaching-learning balance is actually perfect."
There are so many reasons why you have been an inspiration to me, but mostly because you loved me unconditionally. "Mostly" ; )
Letting you go is one of the hardest things in this world for me, because you are my best friend. You are someone who got to know the real me. You found a lot of of my walls of fear and you still stayed with me , and you still loved me.
You had faith in me and faith in our relationship. I can never repay you for all of the love you gave, but I can tell you that is what I'll remember you by. We can leave this chapter trying to forget all of the things we disagreed about, or we can remember all of the loving lessons we taught each other.
I just wanted you to know where I was coming from and I hope that helped explain in part why I had to leave. I know that someday we'll look back on this and have more clarity on why things happened the way they did. Until then, I'll always pray for your happiness and hope all your dreams come true.
Never Forget You
By Lupe Fiasco
Let the record reflect the records we set
Best foot forward with every step
And let’s push towards it, never regress
And let’s remember, if ever we get down
the places that we came from ’round
And all the good times on the bad side of town
The upside of bad, flip it upside down
Came from the bottom but we up high now
Believe, and from this view we achieved
We looked back at the rules we received
And how we broke those, dismantled and rewrote those
And the ghost still alive in the photos
Sounds of the summer, day and go wise
Cold wind blowin’ through a city on fire
Moments of the past, came here to find you
Not to relive them, just to remind you