About a year ago in the fall of 2012, some friends and I rented a cabin up in Big Bear, CA for the weekend. It was a two-story, fully furnished cabin that you can rent up there. We arrived there on a Friday and I was happy to be hanging out with my friends. However at the same time, I had a lot on my mind that was distracting me from really being happy. There was a deep sadness in me that I had been struggling with for awhile. I tried to ignore it, but I couldn't seem to turn off the thoughts that were bringing me this pain.
He told me that he is always with me and hears my prayers. (I had been praying for months and months, asking for help in various areas of my life.) He told me he wanted to spend some time with me that weekend, making his presence known to me. His love and presence was overwhelming powerful, yet so peaceful. This went on for a few minutes. I found myself with tears streaming down my face and in utter disbelief of it all.
(To the right is a picture of the actual rock on the dresser. I took a picture or two to remind me how real it was.)
When I woke up Saturday, I immediately journaled about everything. I didn't want to forget that experience or any details. I decided not to mention this experience to anyone as I'm sure it would be hard to believe and I was still processing it myself. It was hard to accept that I didn't just dream that or something.
For the rest of the day, I went to town with my friends. We had a lovely day in the Big Bear town. We had lunch, walked around a lake, feed some ducks, did some lookie-loos in cute little shops in the town village. One of my best friends pointed out what a magical day it seemed to be. Not only was it an extra beautiful day, but everyone was out with their dogs, there were lots of kids and families out and everyone just seemed extra happy that day. Anyways, we really enjoyed ourselves out that day. When we got back to the cabin, I thought I would go lie down to try to take a nap. I noticed someone turned on some music from downstairs.
As I was laying on the bed, thinking about what a nice day we had, I started to feel that warm sensation of His presence again! This time was almost twice as strong though! I felt that warm hug again, only it was stronger this time. I could feel that warmth in particular around my heart. It felt like a swirling, tingly energy. I don't know how else to describe the feeling, but like a warm, tingly sensation. Again, I instantly knew it was His presence. I know that sounds weird, but there was no doubt about it! I never questioned for a second if it was an angel or someone/something else. I just instantly knew it was JC. Just as I was in utter awe again, feeling this sensation again, suddenly, the music from downstairs was turned up a bit. A most beautiful song I had never heard before was playing and right at that moment the lyrics said, "Just listen to that little voice inside. It will guide you home... Listen to that voice inside of you.." I kid you not, it was as if he was playing this song just for me. Those lyrics were singing to my soul. That song was turned up and timed perfectly for me to hear those lyrics, right at that moment, during this divine hug.
I wouldn't or couldn't make this up or simply imagine this experience! I was thankful for this experience happening the 2nd night in a row, because it validated that I wasn't dreaming or imagining it the first time. I simply couldn't deny how real it was. After a few minutes (again I'm in utter disbelief while this is happening), he begin talking to me again. He told me again that he heard my prayers about the specific things I had been praying about. There was more he said too, but I won't go into every detail.
I don't know exactly how much time passed during this, but finally my boyfriend came up to join me in resting. I didn't tell him about it, but instead just remained in awe for the rest of the weekend.
I had been praying a lot before this experience happened, but I was still searching for faith. I hadn't been going to church or reading the bible. I wasn't sure what I believed exactly and I'd been disillusioned with religion/religious people in the past, but I knew that God exists and that he loves us. This experience gave me the reassurance in faith that I needed to keep believing. I feel so lucky that I got to experience something like this, but at the same time I know I'm not special or anymore loved than everyone else is. I don't know why some people get to experience powerful spiritual moments like this and some go their whole lives having to only rely on blind faith. Sometimes I feel very alone if I try to explain how real something like this is to someone, but get a perplexed or blank stare. It's ok though. This is part of my journey for some reason. I have to accept that everyone is on their own journey. One thing I do know, you gave me the kiss of life. :)